Try driving around as a Gringo in Mexico with no liability insurance….. and have an accident….

Enter MEXICO illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.

Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, “It is a cultural United States thing. You would not understand, pal.”

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.

Demand to be eligible for Mexican retirement funds that you never contributed to.

Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck!

Said Richard Nixon @ 8:26 am | Permalink   

1. Sounds like a great plan!

   Comment by Jay — 3/28/2005 @ 1:48 pm

---

2. Captain Emeritus of Lolly-Gaggers

   Today’s dose of NIF - daily News, Interesting & Funny … pray for Terri!

   Trackback by NIF — 3/28/2005 @ 4:11 pm

---

3. Welcome back… Hope everyone is feeling better…and that writing about this issue doesn’t turn around and make you sick all over again….

   Comment by Crystal Clear — 3/28/2005 @ 4:24 pm

---

4. As a Gringo who has traveled into interior Mexico about thirty times, I have to say your tongue-in-cheek post has merit. I will add that I will not be taking my family back for our sem-annual Puerto Penasco trip this May. The first one we will miss in over a decade. I cannot and will not continue to support the Mexican economy when they have done so much damage to ours. here in Southern Arizona the invasion has reached epidemic proportions. I may join the Minuteman Project next month as I have the resources,the knowledge of the area and the desire to protect my homeland. President Bush, WAKE UP!

   Comment by Billy Budd — 3/28/2005 @ 7:17 pm

---

5. Nicely done! And sadly all too true.

   Here in Korea the press is quick to sensationalize every incident involving an American, be it a traffic accident, fistfight, or worst of all, some indiscretion with a Korean female. They are so fragile and innocent and easily exploited you know.

   But then I think how I would feel if thousands of ROK troops were stationed in my hometown. And how I would react if I witnessed some of the BS behavior that is disrespectful of the people and their culture. It really is all about the golden rule. I try to act in the same manner that I would expect of a guest in my country.

   The illegals in America are just that, illegal. If they have no respect for our laws they have no place in our society. Including the fruits that rightfully have been granted to our citizens.

   Comment by John McCrarey — 3/28/2005 @ 8:37 pm

---

6. Good luck Billy Budd, be careful out there. Thanks Crystal, 2 days of not eating and imodium do wonders for adults, children have to keep filling diapers……

   Comment by Richard Nixon — 3/29/2005 @ 7:04 am

---

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Line and paragraph breaks automatic, website trumps email, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website