The Wide Awakes » A Call To Arms

1/28/2005

Between watching this clip,(thanks Raven)
the beginning of the Hilldebeast’s campaign for the 2008 election, and this being my first post on The Wide Awakes, I figure now is as good a time as any for me to declare outright war on the left. No more pussy footing around. Oh yeah, it is on. And just to infuriate the left, hell, I’ll even fully admit this is a war for oil! But what is most historically amazing here is that I enter this conflict with a total utter lack of fear. The lack of which, no previous warmonger has ever enjoyed.

For there really is no reason to fear.

First, we have all the guns. The left hate guns. ‘They’re shiny, and scary, and they make loud noises.’ They shout. ‘They kill Bambi for God’s, uh I mean Mythological Superstition’s, Sakes!’ To this I say, I too like Bambi. Bambi burgers, Bambi sausage, Bambi steaks. Their mantra has always been ‘People don’t kill people, guns kill people’(the left’s exemption to this rule, of course, is George W. Bush, who they are sure is at this very moment scheming of ways to kill your children). This mantra is just fine with me, as my army will come packing iron, theirs probably packing for France. Shoot(oops), most progressives won’t even let their children own toy guns. Toy Guns! Hey, there’s an idea, maybe my army should just bring plastic guns to the battle. And when we get there, we could explain how just possessing these faux guns has now influenced us to become cold blooded killers. That threat alone could end the war. But I hope not.

Actually, we may not even need the guns. Really, have you seen some of these PETA-freak, tofu heads. You could bowl most of them over with a feather. We could just say we are Islamic terrorists. They’d likely surrender right then and there.

Secondly, no self respecting antiwar progressive would dare even fight in the first place. They would first go cry foul to the UN. Then, of course, they’d organize protests, and million- (insert flavor of the month here) marches, and have anticapitalist, swastika laden banner making parties. They would contact the media and their in-pocket ‘journalists’ would flood the airwaves with their anti-Sticks and Stones rhetoric…from the safety of their hotels rooms, of course. Think about it, if the left truly believes that war is always wrong, they could not fight back. “Give peace a chance.” They’d plead. Because, of course, their pacifism has worked so well in the past. Pacifists stopped the horrors at Auschwitz….oh, no, I guess they didn’t, it was the Allied soldiers. Well, Sean Penn and his human shields halted the filling of mass graves in Iraq, didn’t they? Uh, guess that’s a nope too, it was coalition soldiers. Well, surely the peaceniks have stopped the killings in the Sudan…hmmm, must not have, the blood still fills the streets. As in the above examples, it is fairly certain they will not put up much of a fight. Thus, we will be victorious. And when my soldiers begin taking the spoils of war to which they are entitled, how could the enemy argue. For they are the ‘party of entitlements’, after all! I can see myself now, addressing the troops, “Step back soldier, Kennedy’s water logged Olds sedan is mine!”

I am sure the above would work just fine, but as I think of it, this could end up being simply a war of attrition. We, the right, need only to stand back and wait. It may very well take a generation or two, but if we are patient victory will surely be ours. Here is the plan…we just let the libs abort themselves out of existence! Their holy grail, Roe vs. Wade, in the end is our greatest ally. The seed they have planted, through their wanton disregard for the lives of their own unborn children, will reap their ultimate defeat.

And lastly, if none of the above works, I’ll pull out my Marx card. “Comrades,” I’ll shout. “Lay down your….uh…protest banners?…This is not war, it is revolution! But it is you who are truly revolting! It is we, the right. We are the modern proletariat, the true earners, the real workers. And you the left are the neo-bourgeoisie. We earn and you take. We build, you tax. We risk, you redistribute. We live, you fear. Surrender now to the hypocrisy of your own minds.”

Ahhh, it’s late, I’m Wide Awake, and the dogs of war are barking…

Postscript. No liberals were killed in the posting of the above, but a flash Pew Research poll of progressives found:

94% were offended
83% felt it lacked compassion
73% believed it was intolerant
12% screamed ‘You need to keep your damn hands off my uterus’
and,
1% of college professors ‘nearly blacked out or threw up’

Said Glen @ 5:26 pm | Permalink

11 Comments »

I’m likin’ you more and more as each day goes by. Great post. Love the part about bambi burgers, bambi steaks, etc..

Something is wrong with an ideology that would kill you because you use animal products.

Comment by Cao — 1/28/2005 @ 7:38 pm

Glen, excellent post. I think this reasoning is behind most of the antiwar movement we see. And I also think people like KOS are too chicken sh-t to go to war, hence they start their LEFTY blogs to get every other young man afraid as well.

Comment by Raven — 1/28/2005 @ 8:36 pm

Baby steps, let’s start with a grass roots effort for the conceal and carry laws and tell them it’s for self-defense.

As for GBlagg, please don’t poke the bear or praise him too much, it goes right to his head, and then that leads to his fingers on his keyboard.

Great job Glen.

Comment by Cracker — 1/28/2005 @ 8:45 pm

another reason we’re easy to beat is that we care about democracy. that’s a major liability in war.

Comment by hatchet — 1/28/2005 @ 9:25 pm

Your post did not offend me in the least. You’re just as entitled to your tainted opinions as the next rightie.

Comment by Len — 1/28/2005 @ 11:04 pm

Well there’s a big difference right there. We care about our Republic and oppose socialist programs from each according to his exploitability to the nomenklatura according to its greed.

Naturally, the left opposes our right to bear arms, because they oppose everything our Founders put into place and spread lies about them and what they achieved. It would seem to me they don’t understand even the most basic principles of freedom, or the biblical principles of personal responsibility that our laws were based upon.

Disarming the people would only be inviting totalitarianism by the Party of the Proletariat.

“Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed; as they are in almost every kingdom in Europe. The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword, because the whole body of the people are armed, and constitute a force superior to any band of regular troops that can be, on any pretense, raised in the United States.” Noah Webster.

Comment by Cao — 1/29/2005 @ 5:34 am

Thanks for allowing me my tainted opinions, which I freely admit are tainted…with common sense. In all seriousness, I would like to add that no sane human loves war. But, on the other hand no sane human can deny that at times it is necessary. Many peace at all cost libs live in utopian denial of that. If the pain and horror perpetrated by evil men does not affect them, they are more than happy to let it continue. It is the Not-In-My-Backyard theory of evil.
My reply to you Hatchet is, you ‘care about democracy’ up until your side loses. Then you scream and cry about conspiracies and disenfranchisement. But comment any time…I’ll just be sitting here polishing my Tyco water pistol.

Comment by GBlagg — 1/29/2005 @ 6:55 am

Yes Hatchet, you care about democracy while we die fighting for it, a big difference.

Comment by Cracker — 1/29/2005 @ 7:29 am

I don’t see how they “care about democracy”. I need to know more about how they demonstrate “caring”. Hatchet, how do you “care” about “democracy”?

Comment by Cao — 1/29/2005 @ 8:06 am

I love guns! I love guns! I know how to shoot, liberals and criminals (yes I lumped them together) beware. Libs will protet the freedom of speech and then convieniently “forget” about the right to bear arms.

Comment by Richard Nixon — 1/29/2005 @ 8:21 am

Hey Glen, did I say good job and welcome? I hope I said that at some point, you’re a great addition to the group.

Comment by Cao — 1/29/2005 @ 10:45 am

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